Oh where to start, it has been one week today and I don't think the reality that I won't see you anymore has set in. Does it ever set in? It has been 3 1/2 years since Mom has been gone and some days I still reach for the phone to share something when it hits me all over again.
I feel like a professional at dealing with grief if there is such thing. I think what i want to share most with everyone is from my perspective what one is looking for when they lose someone close to them. We all tend to feel awkward and wonder what should I say, I hope they are okay, I hope I don't sound 'dumb'. Here are words/actions I know always help me:
- I am here for you if you need me (but MEAN it!)
- I don't know exactly what to say but...........you know I am here
- If you don't the person who passed well then don't claim to - just let the grieving person know you are thinking of them at this time
- Saying Sorry is really OKAY cause you are
- Respect a person's space if they don't seem 'huggy' or 'touchy' when approached, everyone is different
- If you really do feel awkward and are not comfortable with words then drop a card - this is a nice way to reach out
- If you are dealing with Children who have lost someone close don't take anything personal to their reaction, they grieve differently and very individually - give them space
Those are just some of the tips I have from personal experience on losing loved ones as in 6 short years I have lost an Ex-Husband (who was my best friend) My Mother, My 2nd Husband and now my Father. That was hard to type to be honest but the reality of it is there, I have lost them and I must move on yet be able to grieve when I need to.
I know through all of this I have had wonderful family and friends to support me and I couldn't be luckier!! :) You all know who you are<3
And now you have a total stranger. Somehow, we connected on Twitter, who knows how these days?
ReplyDeletePeople are so afraid to talk about death. It's understandable. I'd love to say it doesn't scare me, you know, like people say in movies "I'm ready" or "I'm not afraid", but I do believe that it isn't the end, though I can't explain it. Maya Angelou said something like "They do not die who live again in those they leave behind. In those whose lives they have touched they live again." It's not the quote but it is the meaning. Sorry, and hope it helps.